Can some one please tell me what im feeling?

Ok me an my boyfriend have been daitin for 3 years.he's cheated on me in the first year like a month in. We didn't even say I love you or anything we were still in the getting to no one another stage well he cheated on me 4 times.I left him for about three months an we got back to gether. I forgave him as long as he promised to change.he did change we were in seperable! The just reciently he got a job. I trust him not 100% but like 80% well I let him go huntin the I went to my moms forr a couple days he called me every day after work. Well just the other nite we got in a lil fight.cuz he said I love you baby! I said really he said ya he said it again I said babe! I don't think I'm in love with u any more,I have love foe u but idk I think we need some time to think he said ok he went with one if his firends I don't like a the went to hang out with !girls! Idk what to think then I find him in a girls house in the shower!! little do I no he's in there till he sais I'm gonna come get u meet me at the boat ramp in 15.well 30 goes by no call sign anything. I call his friend an he tell me we were not comming were at my friends my bro get on the phone sayin can I come over well we get directions an go. That's when I get out the truck sayin where is he?? They say in the shower! I go in an like wtf he's like how u get here? I said nvm that I thought u were comming to get me he's like ohh. What do I do?????